What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Can a barracuda kill a human?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Do the British people realize how much American people absolutely despise them?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Make Nazis afraid again!

How long will it take Christian president-elect Donald J. Trump to restore our nation's moral values?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why is Canada letting too many Indians in Canada?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Can you fly an American flag in the UK in your own private property there? What is the UK’s government stance on that? And if yes, do you also have to fly the UK flag or the American flag can fly solo?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

If a cat is feminine in German, what article do you give to a male cat?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why are most girls not open to the idea of anal sex?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

TEXT:

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Are you afraid to get married and why?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Ive been pretending to be okay and acting as normal as possible, but Im actually completely heartbroken after a recent breakup. Its painful and really affecting me, to the point where I cant concentrate at work, Ive lost my appetite, I cant sleep, and It feels as if my whole world has been turned upside down. I loved him so much. He said so many cruel things to me and it made me realize he must not have loved me the way I loved him, or he wouldnt have said such horrible things. How do I handle the heartbreak and why cant I accept that he didnt love me and just forget about him?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What is the difference between the terms "Millennials" and "kids"?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Overthinking is killing me day-by-day. What should I do?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.